Many years ago, after having a bad day, a day where I was cussing everything and everyone up and down, I decided that someone , somewhere just HAD to have
a day worse than mine. I couldn't find anyone who would admit to it, so I wrote it. If you're having a bad day, think of this guy! I think I wrote this
in 2000 or 2001, I cannot remember exactly. I did write this tongue in cheek 
Right, so it's been another one of those days. You know the kind of day I'm talking about, the one where you get up on the wrong side of bed and your bed is in the corner right up along a brick wall. After you get the swelling down and think of something clever to account for the huge bruise on your face you stumble downstairs. Get the milk out of the fridge, grab a cup of java <presets are great huh?>, put the pot of coffee in the fridge and put the milk on the coffee maker. Two minutes later you know you need to a get a new milk container and this time you'll make it a ceramic one because the plastic ones just aren't that heat resistant.
The good thing is that now you don't have test the smoke detector. It's working just fine, in fact it's working so well it won't stop. The noise doesn't help because you feel the effects of the wild drinking party you went to last night, then realize that was a dream and you were in bed by 8pm. That means the girl you met last was.... anyway...
You finally get the smoke detector silenced, though ripping it out of the ceiling isn't the recommended method. You're slightly concerned about the sparking wires you've left behind but decide that it's not that serious and you'd better get your shower and head for work. As you go back up the stairs you realize that it might be an idea to get in the habit of doing the shower thing and getting ready BEFORE coming downstairs because that would be far less strenuous.
Something starts to go right, you can get hot water for your shower. There, you've managed to get it nicely adjusted. Now all you need to do is get a towel, toss the pj's and jump right in. P.J's tossed, towel in hand, hop in the shower!
Jump out of the shower shivering and cussing because all that wonderful hot water has gone who knows where! Still, you're a mess and there's nothing for it. A cold shower might be just what you need after that dream you had last night. This also will not take very long.
There, you're done and all dried off. You're dressed and look a tad blue from the cold but otherwise you look pretty sharp. Even the swelling on your face has gone down. You look at the clock and .. OH NO!! It's already 8:50 and you have to be at work for 9:00 sharp. You've been late every day this week and the boss is giving you some pretty scary LQQKS.
You glance at the hanging wires on the ceiling as you fly out the door. They seem to be dead now so that is one thing you aren't going to worry about. Get the door locked, fly down the stair. Get the car door open, slide in while you start it up. Tear out of the drive way and away you go. You're going to try and make a half hour drive in ten minutes.
You're making excellent time. For some reason there isn't that much traffic on the road. Ok, you were. making great time, until you hear the siren behind you. Looking in the mirror there's your friendly neighbourhood fund collector in uniform right on your tail. You sigh but pull over. This hasn't been a great day for you so far and it's not looking like it'll get any better.
You know better than to ask something stupid like "What's the problem officer." You decide your best course of action is to say "Yes sir" and lot and smile even more. The cop gives you a funny look because the first thing he asks you is "Do you know how fast you were going?" and you say "Yes sir" and give a big smile before you realize what you've done. So much for getting yourself a break. You'll be lucky if he doesn't haul you away for psycho analysis.
You've got your ticket and an order to appear to show your license within 24 hours because you didn't bring your wallet. It's now 9:15 and you just KNOW that you're gonna get blasted for once more coming in late. You can't go tearing down the road again because the cop is following you to make sure you behave.
You reach your office, park the car. Think about waving to the cop but decide you're in enough trouble already and just head up the steps to get inside and HOPE that the boss doesn't see you. You pull on the door but it doesn't open. You pull again and still it won't open. The sign on the door says "PUSH" so now you're feeling really intelligent. Putting your best face on it you push but still the door won't open. Is this some new security procedure to keep you out of the building because you've come in late every day this week?
You search around in your pockets and by some miracle you've brought your cell phone with you. You breath a sigh of relief. You can call someone to come and open the door. You're about to hit the speed dial to your buddy whose office is next to yours when you notice the day and date on your cell phone. It's Saturday and your office is closed. You don't have to be in to work until Monday.
Nothing else to do but go home, pick up your wallet and go show your license. Sedately you drive home though as you come to the last intersection before getting there all these emergency vehicles go flying by. Your day has not gone well since the word go and that is likely an understatement. You don't think anything of the passing flashing lights until you find the road to your house blocked.
You ask one of the people nearby what is going on. "Some idiot ripped his smoke detector out of the wall and left the wires live. The fire chief wants to find this guy and bring him up on arson charges. That's what I heard anyway."
You thank him for the information, get back into your car, drive away thinking that life in another country wouldn't be too bad. You come up with several new names for yourself as you go up the on ramp to the freeway and head for parts unknown.
Right, so it's been another one of those days. You know the kind of day I'm talking about, the one where you get up on the wrong side of bed and your bed is in the corner right up along a brick wall. After you get the swelling down and think of something clever to account for the huge bruise on your face you stumble downstairs. Get the milk out of the fridge, grab a cup of java <presets are great huh?>, put the pot of coffee in the fridge and put the milk on the coffee maker. Two minutes later you know you need to a get a new milk container and this time you'll make it a ceramic one because the plastic ones just aren't that heat resistant.
The good thing is that now you don't have test the smoke detector. It's working just fine, in fact it's working so well it won't stop. The noise doesn't help because you feel the effects of the wild drinking party you went to last night, then realize that was a dream and you were in bed by 8pm. That means the girl you met last was.... anyway...
You finally get the smoke detector silenced, though ripping it out of the ceiling isn't the recommended method. You're slightly concerned about the sparking wires you've left behind but decide that it's not that serious and you'd better get your shower and head for work. As you go back up the stairs you realize that it might be an idea to get in the habit of doing the shower thing and getting ready BEFORE coming downstairs because that would be far less strenuous.
Something starts to go right, you can get hot water for your shower. There, you've managed to get it nicely adjusted. Now all you need to do is get a towel, toss the pj's and jump right in. P.J's tossed, towel in hand, hop in the shower!
Jump out of the shower shivering and cussing because all that wonderful hot water has gone who knows where! Still, you're a mess and there's nothing for it. A cold shower might be just what you need after that dream you had last night. This also will not take very long.
There, you're done and all dried off. You're dressed and look a tad blue from the cold but otherwise you look pretty sharp. Even the swelling on your face has gone down. You look at the clock and .. OH NO!! It's already 8:50 and you have to be at work for 9:00 sharp. You've been late every day this week and the boss is giving you some pretty scary LQQKS.
You glance at the hanging wires on the ceiling as you fly out the door. They seem to be dead now so that is one thing you aren't going to worry about. Get the door locked, fly down the stair. Get the car door open, slide in while you start it up. Tear out of the drive way and away you go. You're going to try and make a half hour drive in ten minutes.
You're making excellent time. For some reason there isn't that much traffic on the road. Ok, you were. making great time, until you hear the siren behind you. Looking in the mirror there's your friendly neighbourhood fund collector in uniform right on your tail. You sigh but pull over. This hasn't been a great day for you so far and it's not looking like it'll get any better.
You know better than to ask something stupid like "What's the problem officer." You decide your best course of action is to say "Yes sir" and lot and smile even more. The cop gives you a funny look because the first thing he asks you is "Do you know how fast you were going?" and you say "Yes sir" and give a big smile before you realize what you've done. So much for getting yourself a break. You'll be lucky if he doesn't haul you away for psycho analysis.
You've got your ticket and an order to appear to show your license within 24 hours because you didn't bring your wallet. It's now 9:15 and you just KNOW that you're gonna get blasted for once more coming in late. You can't go tearing down the road again because the cop is following you to make sure you behave.
You reach your office, park the car. Think about waving to the cop but decide you're in enough trouble already and just head up the steps to get inside and HOPE that the boss doesn't see you. You pull on the door but it doesn't open. You pull again and still it won't open. The sign on the door says "PUSH" so now you're feeling really intelligent. Putting your best face on it you push but still the door won't open. Is this some new security procedure to keep you out of the building because you've come in late every day this week?
You search around in your pockets and by some miracle you've brought your cell phone with you. You breath a sigh of relief. You can call someone to come and open the door. You're about to hit the speed dial to your buddy whose office is next to yours when you notice the day and date on your cell phone. It's Saturday and your office is closed. You don't have to be in to work until Monday.
Nothing else to do but go home, pick up your wallet and go show your license. Sedately you drive home though as you come to the last intersection before getting there all these emergency vehicles go flying by. Your day has not gone well since the word go and that is likely an understatement. You don't think anything of the passing flashing lights until you find the road to your house blocked.
You ask one of the people nearby what is going on. "Some idiot ripped his smoke detector out of the wall and left the wires live. The fire chief wants to find this guy and bring him up on arson charges. That's what I heard anyway."
You thank him for the information, get back into your car, drive away thinking that life in another country wouldn't be too bad. You come up with several new names for yourself as you go up the on ramp to the freeway and head for parts unknown.
